You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.