I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sitting down in the shower

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.