Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.