Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

thumb_up thumb_down -74

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -78

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.