- Things You Think Only You Do

only read the short jokes on this website

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Being fat

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.