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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I have a phobia of incest

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.