I talk to inanimate objects daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -37

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -39

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -43

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

thumb_up thumb_down -47

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -51

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.