turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Picking my nose.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.