give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

I have an irrational fear of sloths

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

thumb_up thumb_down -106

seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

incognito mode on google chrome

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

thumb_up thumb_down -41

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.