Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -87

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes I wonder if every thing is real or just fantasy and I get really scared,creeped,depressed,and Anxious

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

thumb_up thumb_down -59

incognito mode on google chrome

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

fart

thumb_up thumb_down -24

sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.