Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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incognito mode on google chrome

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.