i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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misread flashlight

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Breathe.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.