When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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fart

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.