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Clarksonisms
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Pointless Super Powers
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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.
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-23
after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!
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-27
masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes
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-33
Breathe.
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-105
Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.
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-16
pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.
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-92
Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.
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+9
When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.
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-5
Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)
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-9
When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.
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-18
fart
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-20
When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"
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-26
I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.
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-30
Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.
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-38
when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.
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-48
when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.
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-33
every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".
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-95
in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...
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+6
When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.
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-66
Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'
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-76
when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.
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-82
Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.
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-170
When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.
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+49
Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate
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+15
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.