masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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RAPE CHILDREN

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.