I pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -53

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -89

you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

thumb_up thumb_down -166

Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -37

wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Think about things I should be doing with my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.