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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

Dancing while hoovering

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

conundrum.

I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.