get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.