When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.