Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.