Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down

See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

thumb_up thumb_down -103

When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

thumb_up thumb_down +50

After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

thumb_up thumb_down -23

calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.