When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.