Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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I can see a magic eye image

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.