almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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ASMR

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.