Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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I can see a magic eye image

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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ASMR

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.