Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.