I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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I like to poo while smoking.

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.