When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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When i wake up from a good dream, i close my eyes and imagine the ending in different ways.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.