When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.