sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.