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Clarksonisms
Motivational Generator
Quoted Coworkers
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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis
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-58
When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.
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-1
feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.
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-39
When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"
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-57
Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"
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-107
Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.
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-36
use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.
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-23
Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.
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-134
Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.
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+37
You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.
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-19
After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.
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-52
When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up
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-72
When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.
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+127
I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement
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+29
I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.
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+7
Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.
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-1
A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.
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-29
When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.
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-53
I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.
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+60
Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow
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+22
While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.
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-48
When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.
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-72
Drinking and dialing people I dated.
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-15
See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.
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-39
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.