When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.