I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.