go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

thumb_up thumb_down +27

cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

thumb_up thumb_down -138

I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

thumb_up thumb_down -76

shag your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

thumb_up thumb_down -31

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.