get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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I make a conversation with myself when looking at mirrors !

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.