I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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I always think I have special powers

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Made after doomsday plans

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.