Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

get home from work and masturbate instantly

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

thumb_up thumb_down -68

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

thumb_up thumb_down -122

I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

thumb_up thumb_down +61

When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -141

When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.