Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.