KICK THE CAN

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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Check this site often to see if anyone liked my comment or not...

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.