Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

I always think I have special powers

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

get home from work and masturbate instantly

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.