Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.