Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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hate Justin Bieber

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.