imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.