Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.