Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.