Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.