When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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hate Justin Bieber

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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I put big spaces in between comments

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.