I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.