When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -134

After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

thumb_up thumb_down -25

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

thumb_up thumb_down -38

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I play video games with the controller under the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.