Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.