Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.