Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Vote for the other guy

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.