After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.