Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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Giving my dog a massage.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.