slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Play Minecraft

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.