when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.