I want to suck on your penis

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.