I'm really picky about how I earn money

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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I want to suck on your penis

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.