Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I like to burn candles in my room and some times I burn the hair on my arm and smell it afterwards

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Giving my dog a massage.

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I have seen a UFO

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Take baths

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.