Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

Made after doomsday plans

I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

Set Fire to the Rain

When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.