Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Take baths

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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I want to suck on your penis

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.