Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.