I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.