Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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hate Justin Bieber

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.