Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.