The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.