Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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I eat ass

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.