Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.