disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.