Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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sit in the shower

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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misread dig bick

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.