Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.