When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.