Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.