I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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Talk to my cat.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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misread dig bick

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.