When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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misread dig bick

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.