when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

open the fridge A eat food B think

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Play with my own boobs for no reason

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I can't trill my R's

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When out I like to "people watch."

thumb_up thumb_down -56

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.