I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.