Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Talk to my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I can't trill my R's

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.