stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.