When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Sometimes I toot.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.