I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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wonder who wrote these things

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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get really confused

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.