Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Talk to my cat.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.