I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.