Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.