When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.