fall asleep in the shower.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.