I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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Talk to my cat.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.