Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.