When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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misread dig bick

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.