I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.