Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.