Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.