I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.