Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.