I eat ass

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.