I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I can't trill my R's

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I eat ass

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

thumb_up thumb_down -21

disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Try to see nipples through body paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.