when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.