Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.