Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.