When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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I eat ass

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.