fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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chew on the side of my teeth

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.