- Things You Think Only You Do

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

I'm really picky about how I earn money

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.