Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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I can't trill my R's

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Talk to my cat.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.