Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

sneeze without closing my eyes

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.