sneeze without closing my eyes

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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I eat ass

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Talk to my cat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.