Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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get really confused

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.