the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.