laziness .... its all in the mind

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.