When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.