Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.