When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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I can't trill my R's

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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I eat ass

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Play Minecraft

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.