When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.