When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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Talk to my cat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.