When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.