Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.