Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Eat ice by itself

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.