When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.