Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.