You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.