Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.