Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Eat ice by itself

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.