In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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I eat ass

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.