I eat ass

thumb_up thumb_down -53

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

thumb_up thumb_down -79

im going to kill that person and get away with it

thumb_up thumb_down -85

open the fridge A eat food B think

thumb_up thumb_down -91

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down -30

To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

thumb_up thumb_down -46

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.