When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.