When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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I eat ass

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.