Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Set Fire to the Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

thumb_up thumb_down +13

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

get really confused

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.