think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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sneeze without closing my eyes

Try to see nipples through body paint.

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

I eat ass

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.