When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.