When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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wonder who wrote these things

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.