Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

Set Fire to the Rain

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

get really confused

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.