I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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Talk to my cat.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.