While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I can't trill my R's

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.