Talk to my cat.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.