i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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When out I like to "people watch."

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.