Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.