Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.