When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.