When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Try to see nipples through body paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

thumb_up thumb_down -44

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -46

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

thumb_up thumb_down -52

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

thumb_up thumb_down -76

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

thumb_up thumb_down -82

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.